The Whole Caboodle
by Coriana
Summary: Yasu and Monk take Go Fish to a whole new level. / A collection of my humorous short stories and prompts for Ghost Hunt.
1. Three Hours With Lin

Title: Three Hours

Word Count: 526

Notes: My take on what might've happened on that car ride…

* * *

><p>'<em>It's about three hours away from where you are. Lin is going to pick you up.'<em>

A three hour road trip. That wasn't _that_ bad. She'd had longer.

But she preferred them when they were shorter.

Ayako sighed, standing in front of her house with her two bags. No matter the trip, she always had her two bags, because it didn't matter what they said, you normally ended up having to stay the night. She learned early never to trust the client's judgment and bring your overnight bag.

Well, Mai hadn't exactly specified when Lin was going to show, but Ayako hadn't been expecting to wait forty-five minutes.

Finally, she saw the white van turn around the curb. She smiled and nervously fixed her hair.

Lin got out of the car to carry her two small bags, placing them in the back with the equipment. Ayako had at least expected him to say 'hi', but apparently that was beyond him, too.

They drove for about fifteen minutes in silence, Ayako growing more uncomfortable with every stretching second.

"So…" Ayako started, "Lin, where you from?"

She was answered with a slight eyeroll.

"Well, fine. Be that way." She looked out her window, trying to ignore him as well as he was ignoring her. How the hell did he do that!

Another fifteen minutes passed. She couldn't believe that she still had to survive through two and a half hours.

"Uh, you mind if I turn the radio on?" She asked.

"The radio never worked."

"Oh." Obviously didn't listen to music. Not that she had thought he was the type to listen to it.

11:32 a.m.

…

…

…

11:33 a.m.

"Do you enjoy long, awkward silences?" She asked.

"Yes."

"Oh, well I guess that explains some things…"

Ayako couldn't even remember why she had ever considered him a likely candidate.

11:35 a.m.

...

12:52 p.m.

"All right, listen. I'm a girl; you can't stick me in the car for three hours without a bathroom break! You have to pull over."

Lin didn't say anything, but he did pull over into the next gas station. Why did it look as if he picked the most run-down, unclean place that existed?

Ayako glared at him. But he didn't even acknowledge her.

She finally got out of the car. She moved as fast as her heels allowed her. Into the station, used the bathroom, didn't bother to fix her make-up or hair, then practically ran back out.

She was pleased to see that Lin was still there. She hadn't realized that she had had a small fear that he would drive away brewing inside her.

It really wasn't a surprise that he didn't say anything when she got back into the car. He just started the car back up and started back on the road.

Ayako couldn't wait to get there. Looking forward to hot shower, a comfortable bed, people who talk…

...

"What do you mean! I traveled three freakin' hours from Tokyo for you, and now you're telling me that I have to stay in the janitor's room with a heater that doesn't work!"

"Ayako, stop yelling…"


	2. Would You Like to Meet My Mother?

Title: Would You Like to Meet My Mother?

Word Count: 727

* * *

><p>"So, let me get this straight," Mai said, turning to look at Yasu, who was sitting rigid in the hospital bed. "You didn't tell your mom you were halting your job to fly to work for the SPR."<p>

"Yep," Said Yasu.

"And now two of your ribs are broken."

"Yep." His face contorted, and Mai was pretty sure it wasn't just from pain. "And I think she's going to break a couple more."

Yasu had asked Mai to stay with him for the visit, saying that having a cute girl with him might make his mother more docile. Mai begged to differ on the 'cute girl' that he was getting at, but she was going to weather the storm with him—even if it was only to see the show.

Mai sat at the edge of Yasu's bed; it was nice to finally have peace of mind after the last case. "So, are you going to tell her the truth?"

"She can always tell when I'm lying. So, yeah. I think I'll tell her the truth this time…"

"This time?"

Before Yasu could comment, Mai heard the sharp click of heels echoing down the hall, and a female voice snapping at one of the nurses.

"She's here," Yasu said.

"Here goes nothing," Mai said.

The woman that came in was about as tall as Mai was; she was wearing a dark blue suit with a matching purse. Now Mai knew where Yasu had gotten his hair color from.

The woman gave a sweet smile that had an undertone of malice in it. "Oh, Osamu, what have you done now?"

"Hi, Mom," Yasu said, trying to go for one of his trademark grins.

She shook her head and reached into her purse, pulling out a pair of glasses. She shoved them onto his face. "Do you know how worried you've made your mother? Your boss called and told me you had gone to visit someone who was deathly ill, someone I had never heard of. And then I get a call from the hospital telling me that my son was hospitalized for broken ribs… DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED YOU MADE ME?"

"Uh, I'm sorry?" Yasu dropped his head, but apparently the movement hurt him more then he thought. He gasped and Mai could see tears start collecting in the corners of his eyes.

The woman deflated. "Oh, my poor baby!" She sat by him on the bed and touched him gingerly. Now she was crying on his shoulder.

"Now, now," she said, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief. "Tell me what happened? Were you mugged? Car accident? Did you trip?"

"No, Mom. It happened when I tried to destroy a demi-god and the force knocked me back into a cave wall."

"I knew it. You tripped again." She looked up to Mai, "He once tripped when he was younger, twisted his ankle so badly I thought it had broke." Her eyebrows furrowed, "Who are you?"

"Oh. I'm Mai—Mai Tanimaya. I sometimes work with your son."

"Ah, Tanimaya. You're the girl he talks about on occasion. You are a cute girl, you know. I love your hair. " She raised her brows.

Yasu tried to hide his blush by ducking his head and wiping his glasses off.

"Thank you," Mai said, grinning.

"Even so, Osamu, you need to stay hospitalized. And I need to head back home…But I'm sure you'll be fine. Especially with this young girl watching you. Make sure you call everyday, and don't stress yourself out. I'll call school and your work and tell them what happened. Now, you be safe and no skipping."

She stood up and wiped her eyes again. Then she turned and bowed to Mai.

"Thank you for watching my son and putting up with his antics," the woman said. Mai leapt to her feet and bowed back to her.

"It's no problem, ma'am."

The woman looked at Yasu then back at Mai, then declared, "I need some coffee, please excuse me," and walked out of the room.

"That didn't go as bad as I thought," Yasu said.

"She seems like a sweet person," Mai said, smiling at him.

"Yes, she's a good mother…" Yasu trailed off, then, "I believe she also thought that you might make a good daughter-in-law…"

"That's good to know, but no thank you."


	3. My Damn Brother

Title: …My Damn Brother.

Word Count: 500

Prompt is from Writer's Digest. Must be 500 words or fewer.

Prompt: Playing With Fire: You come across a pack of matches that set off a series of uncanny events. Start your story with "My mother always told me not to play with fire."  
>End it "And that's how I ended up in the middle of nowhere – naked."<p>

* * *

><p>My mother always told me not to play with fire.<p>

Not that we always listened to her.

…

"What are you doing?" I asked, peering over Gene's shoulder to see the small box of matches in his hands.

"Nothing," he mumbled, hunching over them so I couldn't see.

I stood up rigidly. It's not that I didn't want to pry, but thanks to my cool-headed reputation, I _couldn't_ pry. I spun around, leaving Gene on the steps of the porch. It was extremely irking to have your identical twin hide something from you. "I'm going to tell Mom that you're playing with matches."

Gene hastily turned around and held his hand up, a small flame dancing over his palm. The fire sputtered out quickly, though.

"Come on, Noll," Gene grinned, "I can't keep it going for longer then fifteen seconds."

I just stared at my twin. If we didn't look the same, I'd tell people we weren't related.

"You're bloody mad," I told him. "Haven't you ever heard, don't play with fire? Leave it to you to disregard the rules."

Gene stuck his tongue out, "Spineless Freak."

I narrowed my eyes; I could feel my temper spike. Not a good sign. "I'm going to tell Lin what you're doing."

"Oh, yes. Run to Lin-san. But really, how are you ever going to gain control of your power if you don't practice a little?" Gene held up the box of matches. "Come on; just see how long you can hold it."

I pursed my lips, staring at the little box of matches that Gene had taken from the restaurant earlier.

Gene threw the box to me, and, of course, I had to intuitively catch it.

I opened the box and pulled out one of the two matches left, pocketing the box. Gene noticed that with a look of disdain.

I swiped the match on the doorframe, and held my other palm over the flame. I could feel the heat, but no burning sensation. I turned my palm right-side up, the ball of fire flickering there. The match was barely burnt, since the flame had hardly been there.

I grinned proudly and brandished my glowing palm towards my twin. Gene clapped stoically, but the act was ruined by his smile.

"Noll?" I had never heard Lin's voice so sharp.

"Oops," I said, closing my palm. The searing pain making me instantly open it again. The ball of fire dropped to the porch. The wood started to catch from my magically fueled flame.

Gene leapt off of the porch, and I jumped backwards into Lin. I felt dizzy, and I knew that I had gone too far.

I closed my eyes and willed the fire to evaporate, but instead I felt a tugging sensation. I heard my twin and Lin yell my name, then I couldn't hear anything.

Once I opened my eyes, I realized that I made the wrong thing disappear.

And that's how I ended up in the middle of nowhere – naked.


	4. Next Time Just Stay Put

Title: Next Time…Just Stay Put

Word Count: 292

Notes: Timeline, during the Bloodstained Labyrinth Case.

* * *

><p>Lin looked through the doorway, only to see five other doors smattered throughout the room and a window on the floor.<p>

He hefted his laptop case higher onto his shoulder and started forward again. This hallway kind of looked familiar…no, he would have remembered the French doors on the ceiling.

"Dammit, Noll. You had to go ahead…" Lin muttered, looking into another corridor.

All he needed was to find an employee. Just someone who knew their way through this god-forsaken house.

He just hoped that he didn't come across any of the other SPR members. Because if he did, that probably meant that they were just as lost as he was, and that wouldn't help anything.

Though the more he walked, the more he didn't mind that he might run into someone. This place gave him chills even in the middle of the day.

He stopped and looked down at a doorway that was only four feet high. Dropping onto his knees, he looked in to see a circular, domed room. There was no décor inside of it, just a glossed wood floor and a plain white ceiling.

Lin stood back up, closing the four foot high door. He wondered if any one that tall had actually lived here at one point.

Five corridors and exploring three different rooms later, Lin was ready to call for help, much to the painful punch at his pride.

"Lin?" Naru said, coming around the corner like a ghost.

"Noll! I was just…looking around."

"Sure you were," Naru said, smirking as he turned around, "You're doing a wonderful job protecting me, Lin," he said over his shoulder.

Lin dropped his head and let out a harsh sigh.

This is exactly the reason why he stayed at base.


	5. Better Than Revenge

Title: Better Than Revenge

Word Count: 353

Notes: When we had been watching the Doll House, and Mai had just fallen down the well, my brother said "Lin _so_ did that on purpose."

And then I had to write a fanfiction for it.

* * *

><p>Lin heard the scream before he saw Mai being dragged across the room to the well on the computer screen.<p>

Instinctively he jumped up and was out the door, hearing Ayako yell Mai's name. Why didn't the damn woman do something?

"Taniyama-san!" He yelled, running into the living room. He bolted across the floor, leaping to grab her hand.

He wasn't quite sure what came over him in that split second of when he was going to grab her hand – a childish urge, probably. Maybe revenge. He knew that the well wasn't that deep.

He let his hand just brush her fingertips before she went over the edge of the well.

He heard Ayako scream and she finally jumped up, running to the well.

Mai was lying there, knocked-out. Or, at least Lin hoped she was just knocked out. Naru wouldn't be happy if Lin had killed her.

Naru might not even believe Lin if he had that said it was just an accident.

Well, Lin thought, I guess I should go get her.

"Mai, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Lin heard a faint reply from the well to Ayako. "Lin's coming down to help you get out."

'Lin's coming down?' Apparently Ayako wasn't capable of such a thing. Lin rolled his eyes as he went to get some rope from Base. Why do they even carry rope around with them? "Any injuries," he said. She was standing, so that was enough to him.

She said no anyway.

"Hand me the chair," he said to the red-haired woman.

*.*.*

After everything was over, and Mai had relayed the dream to him and Ayako, he was now sitting back in his chair at Base.

Naru walked in and grabbed something off of the shelves. Lin thought he wasn't going to comment on the matter, until he said, "You did that on purpose." Naru almost sounded accusatory.

"No…" Lin said.

"Letting her fall down the well was _not _a revengeful move from when she had knocked the bookshelves down on you?"

"It's possible."

"Lin," Naru said.

Lin turned enough to look at him.

"Grow up."


	6. Calvinball Fishing

Calvinball Fishing

Word Count: 740

Prompt (by Sniperrolf): The characters start playing a simple card game and then it turns into a wild version of Calvinball.

This is a birthday fiction to Sniperrolf. x) Happy Birthday!

Calvinball: A game that has no rules or purpose.

...

* * *

><p>...<p>

"Do you have any…threes?" Mai asked, staring over her perfectly-splayed out hand at Monk.

Monk gave her a sour look. "No."

"Well, then you better go fish."

"That's all right, because I particularly like fishing," he said as he pulled out a card.

"I believe that fishing is the most boring sport known to man," Yasu commented, as he asked Mai if she had a ten. She did not.

"You'll understand when you get older," Monk said, watching his dwindling deck. He was currently winning.

They were sitting at a nearly vacant coffee house, which Monk had taken them to for dinner. Yasu had then revealed a deck of cards about half-way through the meal, and they all had to debate what to play. Monk wanted to play poker, as was expected, but Mai had protested that she was too young to gamble. After many game suggestions later, they had all decided on one that they knew the rules to: Go Fish. (Actually they had to re-teach the rules to Monk, since he hadn't played it in forever, but now they were regretting that since he had won the last three games).

"Monk," Yasu said, a vaguely serious tone creeping into his voice. "Do you have any queens?"

Monk pulled out a queen and handed it to him.

Yasu countered by handed him a king. "My king wins."

"Eh?"

"But I'll take your lovely lady, anyway," Yasu said, taking the queen and putting it into his hand.

Mai looked a little confused, but Monk caught on pretty quickly. He set a jack on the table. "The Jack has paralyzed all of your 2s, drop them, please."

Yasu pulled out three 2s and placed them into the pond.

Mai sighed and put her cards face-down on the table, deciding it would be more entertaining to watch them then to try and join them.

"Our kingdoms are at war," Yasu said, "Now we need to see which king will stand up the longest when we try to make them stand."

"That's impossible," Monk said.

"Which one falls first means that the kingdom has crumbled." They both pulled out their kings and then tried to stand them up on the table. Mai noticed that Yasu was cheating by letting the king rest slightly against another card.

Which made it funnier yet that after they let go (after counting to three) his fell down before Monk's.

Yasu gave an affronted look.

"Now that your kingdom has fallen, you have to hand over all of your servants. Your jacks, queens, 10s, 9s, and 8s, please."

"My queen is not a servant…!"

"Even so, hand them over."

Halfway to handing them over, Yasu suddenly hesitated. "There's a hidden invasion. They cut down your waiting 7s and run off to save the queen."

"Ah-ha, but my men were expecting that. In the forest that your cards are running to, unsuspectingly, there are two waiting Aces. They kill off your minor 2s and 3s and take back the queens and the other escapees and lead them back to the wagon."

Yasu sighed. And then his eyes brightened. "But then the Joker comes."

"Hmm, I should have been watching for that," Monk said, putting his hand to his chin.

Mai just continued to smile and shake her head, especially since half the cards that they were using they didn't have.

Yasu lifted the corners of his lips up in a twisted smile. "Using his maniacal laugh, he terrifies all of the other cards and steals back the queen—"

"—Except the queen doesn't want to go with him – understandably – so she throws herself down the next available cliff. Where my lone 5 saves her and starts to take her back to the Keeper's Hand, because they would be safe there."

Monk scooped up the queen and the 5 and put them into his hand. "They fell desperately in love and eventually even eloped from this place, where they could live happily ever after. Mai, would you please." Monk handed her the two cards.

Mai grinned and accepted them, staring at the two forbidden lovers that had just been placed into her castle.

"You lose," Monk said, smirking. "Because I am the King of the Cards."

"Yes, but I will be back and next time I will foil your plans."

"Go Fish is more fun if you play it this way," Mai said, shaking her head and grinning.


End file.
